Things I Need To Do In Order To Make It As A Magician

1). purchase a dove or an albino pigeon

2). develop a taste for thoughtful costuming

3). A THEME SONG. possibilities for a theme song...


"she's flashy ! unpredictable! the sinner and the saint, she's TAM!" But that has little to nothing to do with magic...

"a bird?! a plane?! TAM!" ...but that's been done...

I could take that song from the police - everything little she does is magic. Or ... "love and sex and magic" with J Tim and Ciara... But maybe that won't appeal to the minors (and let's face it, I need to be kid friendly)

4). I think I need some sort of wizarding hat that vaguely resembles MERLIN the magical wizard from Sword in the Stone. Or a sorting hat like in Harry Potter, but it'll sort the audience and pick out the ones least likely to pelt me with tomatoes towards the end of the show.

5). A Victorian vocabulary, to make me fit the part. It's a known fact of fantastical literature, remove it from present time and space and people are more likely to believe it. "Oh zounds! I do believe my powers have swindled me once again! I would therefore implore you to come for tea on the veranda tonight - how I long to hear the rattan creak and cry under your mass." Note to self: this is believable, do more of this.

6). AN ASSISTANT. list of possible assistants:

devon soltendieck from muchmusic.
gerard butler.....he would be a mega assistant .... he can be nicknamed el Grande
REMY SHAND . he takes a message from your love and relays it to the magician (me) ... he can be my PR specialist.
my cat

7). A catchphrase ... this partly corresponds with a theme song... it could be me and my cat and we could be TAM TAM TAM CAT. and it could be simple like that, cause the masses like a common denominator (sp?). Tam's Travelling Jam and her sidekick Chairman Meow! And chairman can be dressed as an American patriot (stars and stripes hat et al.), even though the chances of us touring the US are slim to none. In fact, I'm pretty sure our first stop will be something like Elmira or Kincardine. We'll rely on Chairman's cuteness to pull us out of that one.